Kraken Up

Claire watched the news story of the kraken with fascination. What she needed was to see this phenomenon for herself. Surely there was no such things as kraken? It was a mythical beastie based off the long extinct Giant Squid. She hurried from her apartment and caught the Muni to Crissy Field, where she could see the giant critter and still be far enough away that she felt relatively safe.

From the massive amount of people on the beach, others shared her idea and were taking selfies and video of the creature. It swam back and forth before its audience, periodically holding still and posing with some of its tentacles out of the water.

Oh, Great Turkey hear my plea. Grant me the knowledge to defeat this fowl beast. Let thy will be done. Gobble. Gobble.

The idea that came to her was brilliant! The way to defeat the kraken was to create a giant hat of the Great and Sexy Turkey.

She texted her group, a small but growing group of followers of the Great Turkey. Gather your supplies. The Great Turkey has shown me how to defeat the giant kraken attacking our city.

One of the members, Heather, texted back. It might be best for the authorities to handle the kraken.

Have you no faith in our God? Amelia fired back. Where shall we meet, Claire?

We’ll meet at my place and divvy up the responsibilities.

A few hours later, the ladies, including doubting Heather, were knitting away, singing songs of praise to the Great Turkey. Gobble. Gobble.

It took them a few days and nights to complete the holy work. How are we going to get the thing to wear it? Heather asked.

The Great Turkey will show us how. Claire responded.

They rented a truck and it took much stuffing and pushing to get the thing inside and the door closed. A small caravan of cars followed the rental to Fort Point.

When they opened the back of the truck, the giant turkey hat sprang from its confinement and covered the three ladies who were standing near the roll door.

They tugged, pulled and shoved the giant hat to the sea rocks at the edge of the parking lot. And all were out of breath by the time it was maneuvered into place.

Now what? asked Amber.

We pray to the Great Turkey God, Claire said. Grab your hats and prepare.

All the women gathered around the gigantic knit hat and held hands. Oh, Great Turkey we beseech thee. Gobble Gobble. Heed our prayer in our time of need. Gobble. Gobble. Smite down the terror that swims the seas and threatens our fair city. Gobble Gobble. This we pray. Gobble Gobble Gobble Gobble.

One of the ladies gasped and pointed. The giant kraken rose from the waves, its eyes staring at the colorful mount of yarn.

Claire went to the side of the hat and spoke to the sea creature directly. Well go on then, put it on.

The giant eyes turned to her.

It’s a hat. You wear it on your head, or the top of your fin or whatever. Watch.

She removed her own hat, and then lifted it slowly as the creature watched, and put it on her head. Securing the legs beneath her chin. Now you try.

Heather walked up next to her. Do you really think that thing understands a word you just said?

Claire shrugged. Many animals can, and squid are reported to be highly intelligent.

Two of the kraken’s tentacles reached out to the giant hat and lifted it into the air. The tentacles maneuvered it to perch it on top of the fin and mantle and it slid down, the fit perfect.

The kraken swayed from side to side, testing to see if it would come off. The hat stayed secure. Multiple tentacle splashed the surface of the water and it swam in a small circle. It waved a couple of tentacles in the air and swam under the water before popping up again.

Claire glanced at the ladies who all wore smiles. The kraken waved at them, mimicking human movement. The ladies and Claire all waved back and it splashed the surface of the water again before turning around and spotting an approaching Coast Guard cutter. The beast waved at them one last time and swam just under the surface of the water, making a giant wave then headed beneath the Golden Gate Bridge and out to sea.

Amber shook her head. If I didn’t know better, I’d say the beastie is happy with the hat.

Claire tilted her head to the side. It is. The Great Turkey didn’t want to kill the monster, merely turn it into a follower.

We’ve done a good thing today. We’ve made a creature of the Great Turkey happy.

The ladies exchanged high-fives with each other. Gobble. Gobble.